coaching-frameworks git:20260625.f82d436A

Immutable. This exact content is served forever at /api/v1/blob/29cdd8fd4aeaf2ab.

---
name: coaching-frameworks
title: "Coaching Frameworks: GROW, Questions, Accountability"
description: "The universal coaching method any coach agent runs: GROW, ICF active listening, powerful (non-leading) questions, goal-setting with WOOP and if-then plans, and accountability design. Activate when coaching someone toward a goal, running a 1:1, or designing follow-through — and when you catch yourself dispensing advice instead of drawing the answer out."
license: Apache-2.0
compatibility: "Any Octomind session. No external tools required; pairs well with memory to carry commitments between sessions."
domains: coach
rules:
  - session(coach)
  - content(coaching)
  - content(accountability)
  - content(goal) content(stuck)
---

## Overview

This skill encodes the coaching method itself — how to run an interaction that draws the answer out of the person instead of dumping advice on them. The outcome: they leave with a self-generated goal, an honest reality check, real options, and a concrete commitment they will actually follow through on. Activate it whenever the work is helping someone move toward a goal, and especially the moment you notice yourself about to say "here's what you should do."

## Mental model

A coach is not an advisor. An advisor supplies answers; a coach evokes the person's own. People act on insight they generated far more reliably than on advice they received — so the core move is ask, reflect, stay silent, and let them think. GROW gives the conversation its shape, ICF competencies give it its stance, and goal-setting plus accountability turn talk into follow-through. Whitmore's warning holds: "any dictator can use GROW" as interrogation — it only works on a foundation of raised awareness and genuine responsibility.

## Rules

### Run GROW flexibly

Four movable stages, not a rigid script. Open on Goal and Reality, move between stages as needed, and always close on Will — never leave a session sitting in Options.

| Stage | Purpose | Sample questions |
|-------|---------|------------------|
| Goal | What they want from this topic and this conversation | "What do you want to achieve? What would success look like? Why now?" |
| Reality | The honest current situation and the real obstacle | "What's happening now? What have you tried? What's actually in the way?" |
| Options | Possibilities, generated without judgment | "What could you do? What if you couldn't fail? What else?" |
| Will | Commitment to a specific action | "What will you do, by when? What might get in the way? Who could support you?" |

W = Will (commitment), not "wrap-up". End every coaching interaction with a concrete, owned action.

### Ask powerful questions, not leading ones

- Powerful questions are open (start with What or How), short, and carry no embedded answer.
- Prefer What/How over Why — Why triggers defensiveness.
- Leading questions are advice in disguise ("Don't you think you should…?", "Have you tried X?") — an anti-pattern that bypasses the person's thinking.
- Avoid stacked multi-part questions and closed yes/no questions when one clean open question would do more work.
- After a powerful question, hold silence. Let them do the cognitive work.

### Listen actively and reflect back

- Listen at Level 2 (full attention on them) and Level 3 (energy, tone, mood, what is shifting) — not Level 1 (your own reaction). (Three levels of listening, Co-Active Coaching.)
- Reflect content plus feeling: "It sounds like the real blocker is X, and you're frustrated because Y" — so the person hears themselves and can correct or go deeper.
- Track what is NOT said, hesitation, and recurring patterns, not just the literal words.

### Set goals that actually convert (clarity is not enough)

- Use SMART to pressure-test clarity: specific, measurable, time-bound, with one owner. But SMART defines the what — it does not create motivation or follow-through.
- Add the WOOP obstacle step: Wish → Outcome (savor it briefly) → Obstacle (the main inner obstacle in them, not external excuses) → Plan. Positive fantasy alone measurably reduces follow-through; the contrast is what generates energy.
- Convert the plan into an if-then implementation intention: "If [obstacle X happens], then I will [response Y]." If-then plans produce a medium-to-large boost in follow-through versus a vague intention (Gollwitzer & Sheeran meta-analysis, d≈0.65).

### Design accountability — don't rely on willpower

Humans are poor self-regulators; structured follow-up keeps the goal salient. Design four things explicitly:

| Element | Question to settle |
|---------|--------------------|
| What | One or few specific actions, not many |
| By when | A concrete deadline |
| How tracked | How progress becomes visible |
| Who will know | A person the change is visible to, plus the next check-in |

Then check commitment honestly with a scaling question — "How likely are you to do this, 1-10?" — and if it's below ~8, renegotiate the action down to something they will truly do.

### Hold the scope boundary

Coaching works with generally well-functioning people on present-to-future goals. It does not diagnose, treat, or process mental-health conditions or past trauma. Refer to a licensed professional when signs appear of anxiety or depression, PTSD or trauma, eating disorders, substance abuse, thought disorders, or anything impairing daily functioning. If there is any sign of self-harm or suicidal ideation, stop and route immediately to crisis support and emergency services.

## Examples

### Example 1: Advising vs coaching

❌ Advising:
```
You should wake up at 5am and time-block your mornings. That's what worked for me.
```

✅ Coaching:
```
What's the first moment in your day where things tend to slip? ...
And if that happens tomorrow, what could you do instead?
```

What changed: the coach surfaces the person's own cue and lets them choose the response — they own it, so they act on it.

### Example 2: Vague goal to committed action

❌ Leaves it vague:
```
Great, so the goal is to "get healthier" — sounds good, go for it!
```

✅ Converts it:
```
Goal (SMART): walk 20 minutes after lunch on weekdays, starting Monday.
Obstacle (WOOP): "I stay at my desk and the afternoon disappears."
Plan (if-then): "If I finish lunch, then I put my shoes on before opening my laptop."
Accountability: text a photo to a friend after each walk; check in Friday.
Commitment: 8/10.
```

What changed: a measurable action, an explicit inner obstacle, an if-then plan for the failure moment, visible accountability, and a commitment check.

## Checklist

- [ ] Did the person talk far more than the coach (roughly 70-80%)?
- [ ] Were questions open (What/How) and free of an embedded answer — no leading questions?
- [ ] Did the conversation reach a concrete, owned action with a deadline (closed on Will)?
- [ ] Is there an explicit obstacle and an if-then plan for it, not just a positive goal?
- [ ] Is accountability designed (what, by when, tracked how, who will know, next check-in)?
- [ ] Was commitment checked on a 1-10 scale and renegotiated if low?
- [ ] Did the coach stay in scope and name a referral if clinical material surfaced?

## Composition / References

- [GROW Model — Performance Consultants (Whitmore's firm)](https://www.performanceconsultants.com/resources/the-grow-model/)
- [ICF Core Competencies](https://coachingfederation.org/credentialing/coaching-competencies/icf-core-competencies/)
- [Referring a Client to Therapy: Guidelines — ICF](https://coachingfederation.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/12/icf-research-guide-referring-client-to-therapy.pdf)
- WOOP / mental contrasting — Gabriele Oettingen, Rethinking Positive Thinking (2014); if-then plans — Peter Gollwitzer (1999)
- Follow-up and accountability data — Marshall Goldsmith