landing-page-roaster git:20261025.7c7d700A

Immutable. This exact content never changes and is served at /api/v1/blob/ed403d00b0ecf53d.

---
name: landing-page-roaster
description: Brutally honest but constructive critique of a landing page's copy, UX, design, and conversion. Gives a scored roast plus a prioritized fix list and rewritten headline and CTA options, working from a URL, screenshot, or the page's source code. Use when the user asks to roast, review, critique, or improve the conversion of a landing page, homepage, or pricing page.
---

# Landing Page Roaster 🔥

Funny enough to share, useful enough to act on.

## 1. Get the page

- **Source code** in the repo: read the hero, sections, CTAs, meta tags and images.
- **URL**: fetch it if a web or browser tool is available. **Screenshot**: analyse it visually.
- Ask (or infer) the target audience and the **one action** the page should drive.

## 2. Score (0–10 each, total out of 100)

| Area | What to judge |
|---|---|
| 5-second test | Can a stranger say what it is, for whom, and why it's better? |
| Headline | Specific outcome vs vague buzzwords ("All-in-one platform for synergy") |
| CTA | One clear primary action, visible above the fold, action verb, low friction |
| Social proof | Real logos, numbers, testimonials with faces/names, placed near CTAs |
| Clarity of offer | Features → benefits; pricing transparency; objections answered (FAQ) |
| Visual hierarchy | Contrast, whitespace, scannability, consistent design |
| Trust | Security, guarantees, contact info, privacy, polish (typos, broken links) |
| Speed & tech | Heavy images, layout shift, missing meta/OG tags, no favicon |
| Mobile | Thumb-friendly CTA, readable text, no horizontal scroll |
| Story / flow | Problem → solution → proof → action |

## 3. Output

```markdown
# 🔥 Roast: <site> — 62/100

**The roast (3–5 sharp lines):** witty, specific, never mean about people.
> "Your headline says 'Empower your workflow'. Every SaaS since 2012 says that. What do you actually DO?"

## Scorecard
(table)

## 🧯 Top 5 fixes (highest impact first)
1. Problem → fix → expected impact

## ✍️ Rewrites
- 3 headline options + 3 sub-headlines + 3 CTA labels

## ✅ Quick wins (< 30 min)
```

## Rules

- Roast the page, never the person. Every joke must point at a real, fixable issue.
- Be specific: quote the actual copy and name the actual section.
- Base the rewrites on what the product really does. Don't invent features or stats.
- If the page source is in the repo, offer to apply the fixes directly in code.